Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
