If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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