i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
