they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
