He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
