he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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