I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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