I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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