you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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