Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
