We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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