is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
