He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
