well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
