There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize