I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
