saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
