Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
