I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Cover your peen. We're going out.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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