I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
cat food counts as protein by the way
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
