my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
