im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
jump out the window naked night went bad
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