Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
