We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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