Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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