kristin has been a bad kristin
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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