You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
