he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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