I heard we made out
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
When did angry sex become our thing?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
