"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
