well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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