i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
