I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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