I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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