Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
