my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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