I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
