I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
