hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i love accidental penises.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
