I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
