I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
