Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
