saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
