I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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