my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
