she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
