Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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