This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
