so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Found the puke drawer
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
