Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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