Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
