grandma shit on top of the toilet
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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