You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
