If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Sober January is a disaster.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
