woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
