Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
