Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
