i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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