just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
