I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
