Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
