You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
