I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
